How to help your children buy property without risking family fallout: Andrew Clements on the Prosperity Project podcast

When people talk about helping their children into the property market, the focus is usually immediate – the deposit, the guarantee, getting them through the door before prices move again.

However, according to Grayson Clements Director Andrew Clements, that moment is often about far more than housing.

On the Prosperity Project podcast with Nadine Higgins, Andrew explores why helping children financially isn’t just a property decision. In many families, it’s the first meaningful transfer of intergenerational wealth, and if it’s handled without clarity, it can create tension that lasts for decades.

Looking beyond the deposit

A key theme from the conversation is that parental support should not be treated as a rushed, one-off financial favour.

Whether parents are gifting money, lending funds, acting as guarantors, or co-purchasing property, Andrew stresses that structure matters.

“Please make sure you document it,” he explains, noting that informal arrangements can unintentionally lead to family conflict later.

What may feel like generosity in the moment can quickly become confusion around fairness, expectations, and future inheritance if families haven’t clearly defined what the support actually is.

Where family tension often starts

Across Andrew’s work in private wealth and succession, the biggest issues are rarely caused by bad intent. More often, problems arise because families avoid the harder conversations.

• How will this affect siblings?
• Is this a loan, gift, or advance on inheritance?
• What happens if relationships change?
• How does this fit into the wider family plan?

As Andrew explains, many Kiwi families struggle to talk openly about money, which is exactly why concepts like “family banking” are becoming more relevant. Rather than reacting case by case, families can benefit from approaching financial support with a broader framework and shared understanding.

Why values matter as much as wealth

One of the deeper insights from the podcast is that successful wealth transfer is not really about money alone.

Drawing on the “five capitals” concept, Andrew explains that financial capital without shared values, communication and identity can quickly become destructive.

“If you don’t have a values conversation with your kids, you’re going to have grief.”

In other words, wealth without structure can create pressure. Wealth with clarity and shared purpose can become a tool for opportunity.

The bigger picture: from family help to family governance

For many New Zealand families, the Bank of Mum and Dad is already operating, whether they realise it or not.

The real question is whether it’s functioning intentionally.

Andrew’s perspective is that thoughtful planning doesn’t need to be overly complicated or cold. Often, it simply means documenting expectations early, aligning support with family values, and reducing ambiguity before misunderstandings grow.

Done well, this approach protects not just assets, but relationships.

Why this matters now

As housing affordability pressures, delayed home ownership, and intergenerational wealth transfer continue shaping New Zealand families, these conversations are becoming increasingly important.

The families who navigate this well aren’t necessarily the wealthiest.

They’re often the ones willing to pause, communicate clearly, and put simple frameworks in place before urgency overrides long-term thinking.

Listen to the full Prosperity Project episode to hear Andrew explore family banking, wealth, values and succession planning in more depth.

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